The year taught us that the norm can quickly change if not disappear, leaving us wondering what the heck do we do next. The year taught us that conforming can be good and bad.

We learned that there are options to our lives with many throwing themselves in new directions. Some made bread, others read, others worked out, others protested, but the point was to take the gift of time we’d been given and mold something from it.

I admit that when COVID first started, I saw it as two to four weeks of quarantine and time to rest and recoup and maybe write a little more. But when what might be seen as a long vacation turned into a serious, international, mind-blowing event, I had to realize what mattered to me. It didn’t come easily.

I lost a parent then lost a congenial relationship with a son, both of us probably lost in the midst of pandemic behavior we couldn’t wrap our heads around. I lost touch with the audiobooks I did for the blind since I could not go in to record. I could not see people I wanted to see.

So I decided to wake up. As Seth Godin recently posted in a blog, he said one of folksinger Woodie Guthrie’s resolutions was to “Wake up and fight.” But he wasn’t being literal in terms of fists or bullying. He spoke of culture, but he also spoke mostly about changing self.

We are born with self-doubt, and we often let it spill all over everything and everyone in our lives. One of my worst characteristics is self-doubt. Many have told me they don’t believe that because I come across self-assured. I can only say that my appearance and presentation is a conscious effort to overcome the self-doubt. It’s my way to “Wake up and fight.”

This year, I had to dig down deeper and use it to overcome loss and mend fences with my son. I fought hard for politics, but distanced myself from the bullies and extreme fringe who criticized me for not embracing them. In that process, however, I made new friends and learned what I really stood for.

This year, I realized that writing makes me whole in a deeper way I had never thought of before. It’s healing, and it’s a tangible aspect of my sanity.

So I worked with the state library to get back into audiobooks. I wrote more words and completed two manuscripts. I read more.

And after so much struggle, I developed a mantra: “Be Kind, Be Positive.”

Culture is around us, and all too often we blame it for our choices and behaviors when in fact, we can create part of that culture by choosing who we want to be. Fighting can be an internal choice . . . fighting to make ourselves better so that the world is a better place just by coming in contact with us.

Happy 2021.