All writers have experienced synchronicity—two or more people coming up with the same idea at the same time. If you write long enough, synchronicity will happen to you, too. Historically, many inventions and theories have surfaced simultaneously, often from people on opposite sides of the globe. For example, two scientists came up with the theory of the evolution of species in 1858. Darwin just published his version first. And in 1876, both Elisha Gray and Alexander Graham Bell filed patents for the telephone on the very same day.

For freelance writers, this phenomenon occurs when several others have already published articles based on that fabulous idea you just pitched. In the world of fiction writing, this unlucky coincidence happens when you’re chatting with another writer and figure out that you’re both writing novels with similar plot lines and characters—or worse—your book is launched and a similar title hits the shelves in the same month. For essayists who write about the human condition and current times, synchronicity may be even more common.

Recently I opened my computer to find a published essay frighteningly similar to the piece I’d submitted the night before. My essay, “An Open Letter to the Mom with the Toddler and the Baby,” was my response to seeing an exhausted mother in the grocery store wearing a baby in a sling as a toddler ran around her legs while she tried to shop. Seeing that mom brought back memories of those tiring days were when my kids were small. I was so certain that my piece was fresh and unique that I was shocked when I opened my Facebook newsfeed to see an essay eerily similar to mine–published on the very blog I’d pitched!

That other essay referenced a mom the writer saw in a warehouse parking lot. This mom also wore her baby in a sling and had older kids running around. Although the titles were different, the essays both adopted a similarly soothing tone, told from an “I’ve been there” perspective. That writer made several of the same points and ended the piece in almost the same way. I wanted to hate that imposter article, but it was actually really good.

Synchronicity happens. Blame it on the internet, the collective unconscious, or just plain bad luck. I would argue that, when synchronicity strikes, writers experience five stages of grief.

Denial

That essay isn’t exactly like mine. Maybe a different editor at the publication will see my creation, be overcome by my brilliance and publish it anyway since mine is so much better.

After Denial, anger takes over

This is not fair. Just because that writer turned in her article sooner, she got hers published. If I wasn’t so busy with all of the stupid stuff I have to do, I would’ve written mine earlier, too.

Anger burns out and thus begins Bargaining 

Maybe if I tweak my prose just a little, it will still work? I’ll rewrite the whole thing, if they would just accept my essay. I’ll even let the magazine print my piece for free; I don’t need a paycheck. I’ll do it for the glory and the writing credit. Bargaining usually doesn’t last long, especially since you won’t get what you want, and on second blush, the thoughts sounds silly.

Depression hits next

I. Will. Never. Write. Again. Ever. Why do I even try? The freelance market is oversaturated anyway. What’s the point? I’ll never make it as a writer. I suck.

Finally, Acceptance 

Hopefully, the Depression stage will be short, and with Acceptance comes renewed hope. There are lots of other markets. I’ll rework my query and send it elsewhere.

The next time synchronicity slams you in the ego, just remember it happens to all writers. Work your way through the stages of grief, then resend your work. Repeatedly. Take comfort in the fact that great minds think alike.

Bio: Tiffany Doerr Guerzon is a freelance writer who lives in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains near Seattle. She experiences synchronicity on a regular basis.