This is a dilemma I’ve fought my entire life. I mean, consciously…seriously grappled with.

In my earlier years, I decided nothing would get the best of me. I gave everything my all, and if I did not ace whatever it was, then I hadn’t tried hard enough. I saw life as nothing but challenge and opportunity, mastered simply by my personal choice of how deeply I was willing to invest myself.

Then I had the inevitable crash-and-burn moments. Then the battle became me against me. I lost sight of the horizon.

We can’t always win. However, we can’t pursue a goal without feeling possibility and hope that our dreams at least have a chance. Some people rely solely on hope, playing the odds that success will find them. Others go overboard fighting upstream, demanding they be successful . . . when maybe their goal isn’t the right one to be fighting.

With age and experience comes wisdom, unless you find a brilliant mentor along the way who has already paid their dues. I know more of what I want to do today. I’m less likely to leap at every bright shiny thing, or every success method promise out there. Also, everything doesn’t have to be a challenge. Some things can be just something I don’t want to do in order to keep my life on an even keel.

But failure has to be a part of the equation. Failure is a gift. Failure is a check point that stops us from ruining our lives forever.

Did we choose the wrong goal? Did we miss a clue? Did we take a wrong turn? Did we listen to the wrong person? Did we push through a red light when we should have stopped and taken stock of the traffic? Did the book not publish because our writing was not fleshed out yet?

Did we make wrong choices or was luck just not there (yes, there is a bit of luck in the mix). It’s usually a combination of both.

Even if it all went wrong, we learn from the exercise of scrutinizing what happened. These days, however, the social environment is to blame ourselves or blame others, both of which are just stupid wastes of precious energy.

I used to blame myself for not working harder. Today, I study the facts, take notes, alter the course, and move on. I cannot afford to dislike myself. I cannot afford to dislike others. I need that energy for the mission, whatever it may be. Even if it is two steps forward and one step back, I’m still getting there.

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