By C. Hope Clark
A suggestion . . . don’t do it.
Every once in a great while, a typo or grammatical error appears in the newsletter. I have a wonderful proofreader, and, between us, we comb the newsletter each week. But hey, sometimes when the stars align and we both have a bad week, an item slips by. And someone will inevitably, gleefully correct us.
There is little more insulting than for someone who never offers positive feedback, to smugly tell someone that their grammar is wrong. Let me explain why.
1) Once the words are said and/or published, they cannot be taken back, regardless of how noble the criticism. “You did wrong,” becomes more the message.
2) Rather than educate the person (as the critic often states is their motive), they’ve insulted them. Unless the critic is personally close to the individual, their criticism will be considered critical, not enlightening.
3) The critic is remembered as a critic. They are burning a bridge.
4) The mistake might be a one-time thing. Better to wait and identify a trend rather than pounce on a happenstance slip.
Critics will often begin their assessment with one of the following remarks:
1) I normally love your work, but this mistake bothered me…
2) You are normally keener than this, but I couldn’t help but notice…
3) I used to be an English teacher/bestselling novelist/editor/term paper grader and cannot help myself…
4) Sorry, but I’ve always been fanatical about grammar, and I couldn’t help but notice…
If it’s not repetitious, don’t do it. Even then, think twice. Trust me; you aren’t remembered in a fond light.
A week ago, a gentleman wrote about using THEIR as a singular pronoun, stating that I made a mistake. Then he downplayed it, joking, typing in jumbled up, misspelled words that he wasn’t necessarily a professional but just wanted to bring it to my attention.
My response was that I don’t correct other people. Once something is published, it cannot be undone. However, since he opened that door, I wanted to cite places that use/endorse/explain using THEIR in a singular context. In return, he got mad for being corrected and unsubscribed.
Just think twice before correcting someone else. We aren’t always so perfect ourselves.
Some folk just can’t accept criticism – not talking about the newsletters – I’ve had the same thing happen to me no matter how diligent I’ve tried to be, but this gentleman ( I use that term because you did) just wanted to be better and couldn’t hack being wrong. I’ve got a neighbor like that. He isn’t talking to several other neighbors because they’ve at one time or another refused to accept one of his false statements and offered a correction. He’s especially unable to deal with women who are confident enough to disagree with him. I live next door to him so I do my best to ignore the stuff he spouts. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Ignore the idiot.
I have long adored that saying.
In the age of digital content I think it’s fine to correct someone’s grammar since it can indeed be corrected online.
I’m just not one to want to point our people’s faults. I have too many of my own and don’t want to hurt feelings. Unless I’m invited to give feedback, I don’t feel it’s welcomed.
I’m bothered by this post: why wouldn’t you want the opportunity to correct an error? Digital content is easy to edit.
However, the rules of grammar are not set in stone, unlike spelling. (Check out podcasts and courses by Linguist Anne Curzan to learn more about our evolving language.) And if you have a style guide that you follow consistently — you have created a style guide for your blog content, haven’t you? — you can tell your critics you’ve already made a decision about an option they consider an error.
But sometimes it’s not about the grammar, Dorothy. And posting on a blog or in social media about a grammar disagreement just brings the attention to that item, and the person who pointed it out, and the message is gone. It’s like telling someone they aren’t dressed properly for an occasion.