When you email an agency or editor to query new work or chase a submission, the subject line is almost as important as all the other elements of your email put together.
Here, based on 20 years of working with email agencies and the CRM teams of big brands, are my tips for writing a subject line (SL) that will help your email to stand out from a noisy inbox and have the best chance of being opened and responded to.
Avoid being cryptic
Let’s say, for example, that you have written a new sci-fi saga called The Dragons of Jupiter. You might be tempted to write an intriguing SL such as: “Why did the Dragons move to Jupiter?” Out of context, alas, this won’t make much sense, and your intended recipient is likely a very busy person who is not looking for intrigue from their crowded inbox. This is even more the case if your sender name is unfamiliar to them.
Make instant sense
Instead, craft SLs that work even out of context, are easy to understand and give the recipient a very clear idea of what the message is about even if they don’t open it there and then. E.g. Query: New Sci-Fi saga | The Dragons of Jupiter | Dan Brotzel. Here at a glance the recipient can see exactly what’s coming, and they’ll thank you for making their life easier. They can easily file this with other queries to read as a batch too.
Use the multi-element approach
Studies repeatedly show that longer SLs score better than shorter ones for engagement, even on mobile devices. This doesn’t mean that you should elongate unnecessarily, but the more info and context you can provide, the more your SLs will stand out. Use pipes (the | character) to turn your SL into a horizontal menu or expand on the content of your message. E.g.:
Article ideas | Pro tips for email SLs | Getting started in content | Dan Brotzel
Author news | Dan Brotzel | Competition win! | New stories out
Only 99c till May 31! | Dragons of Jupiter by Dan Brotzel | ‘Dark and disturbing sci-fi’ | Amazon sale
You can use the multi-element approach to showcase different items in your email, or to expand on one message. Don’t worry about the line cutting off in different views – just make sure you order your elements from the most important (left) across to the least (right).
Work nudges into your SLs
Nudges are little psychological levers that we find it hard to resist. “Only 99c till May 31” plays to our fear of missing out, aka loss aversion. The dark and disturbing quote above implies that the book has been well-received by a reviewer; this is an authority nudge, as the comp win would be. Social proof – where we’re attracted to something because we see lots of other people are – is another very powerful nudge, e.g., 20 five-star reviews on Amazon.
Don’t get noticed for the wrong reasons
Because subject lines are like labels on a very crowded shelf, they work best as markers. They will be forever linked to your sender name, so you don’t want them to stand out for the wrong reasons, for examples because your SL conveys a negative or passive-aggressive attitude. An SL like “When are you going to pay me?” or “Here’s another great story you won’t get” may help you to stand out, but may also get your future emails ignored. Always stay positive, upbeat, and helpfully self-explanatory.
BIO: Dan Brotzel (@brotzel_fiction) is director of UK content agency Sticky Content and co-author of a new comic novel, Kitten on a Fatberg (Unbound). As a reader of this newsletter, you can pre-order Kitten on a Fatberg for a 10% discount – quote KITTEN10
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