About this time of year we take measure of who we are, what we’ve accomplished, and what we’ve overcome. Then we often ponder where to take things from here. Many of us interpret those feelings as yearning for a memoir.

We like to feel that what we experience is so profound that it needs to be shared with others so that they can learn how to live a better life, or learn what to avoid. The problem is we forget what a memoir is. It’s a true story that reads like a novel. Fact is, too many failed memoirs are little more than autobiographies.

When writing a memoir, one has to remember the following:

1) It’s as much about the beauty of the writing as the substance.
2) The reader has to feel almost like a voyeur, as if violating a peek into someone else’s life.
3) The reader has to relate to the feelings.
4) The memoir has to have an intention construct, with a deep, worthy message.
5) The story has to feel raw, with revelation in the end.
6) The tale has to feel powerful.

Hundreds of people have told me they wanted to write their memoir. What they prefer to write is an autobiography. Most do not even think about how to be purposeful and meaningful in the writing itself. Their mind is wrapped around their past and how everyone will appreciate what they’ve been through.

First and foremost, learn to write. Crave to write wonderfully and beautifully.

Secondly, look at your personal story and define its beginning, middle, and ending, then decide where the climax is and define the theme and ultimate lesson learned. Think like a movie, with the movie swelling here and there.

Thirdly, outline it. While you know how the story ends, you were too close to the action when it happened. Outline the journey, making sure it contains all the characteristics of a novel with its parts and acts and expectations at places along the way.

If this sounds incredibly difficult, kudos to you for being aware. It is. It is every bit as difficult as a full-length novel. If you decide it’s too difficult, then that might also be an indicator that your story isn’t quite the blockbuster you thought. Not that you didn’t weather hard times or learn from the journey, but without the knowledge of how it should be properly told, you’ll spill blood on the page for nothing.

A memoir needs to feel like a remarkable experience and a legacy that someone other than a relative would crave to read. But the most beautiful memoirs out there aren’t about the story but more about the talent and beauty infused into the telling of it.